"He realized that he had to choose between thinking of himself as the poor victim of a thief and as an adventurer in quest of his treasure. 'I'm an adventurer, looking for treasure,' he said to himself"
- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.
- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.
All of my close friends and family know that my Uncle John is a storyteller. Although some of it I'm sure is made up or exaggerated and he usually goes off on a tangent, I enjoy his stories so much. I could sit in a room for hours just hearing his stories. Quick back story --> My Uncle John is how my mom and dad met many moons ago. He is my mom's older brother, and was also my dad's best friend growing up. So many of his stories include my mom and dad at all stages of their lives. Anyways, he recently told me a story about my dad and him in high school. I don't remember the entire story, but I do remember him saying, "Your dad and I were pretty cool, or at least we thought we were cool and that's all that really mattered to us". I remembered thinking, dang I wish I was cool, or thought I was cool. Most of my friends would describe me has quirky, silly, weird, and awk-a-awk-ward. It's true, I own it. But I really want to be cool. And really, what that story taught me is that cool is not just a state of being, it's a state of mind.
Cool people don't call themselves cool, they just are and that's what makes them cool.
Earlier this year I was in a car accident on the I-5 freeway in San Diego when I was about to exit an off ramp. It was a multiple car collision in which I was rear-ended causing me to hit the car in front of me. The accident ended up involving 5 cars and about 5 people. My natural reaction after realizing I could still feel my feet and that I was still breathing was to get out of my car and ask the lady behind me if she was okay. At first she was kinda speechless and then all of a sudden she literally started freaking out, pointing fingers and placing blame on everyone. Um.. hello lady how is that going to help anything right now? My reaction to her insanity was to literally start laughing (probably not a good idea) and throw accusations right back at her (TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME!). Then, when I got home I reenacted the entire incident to my roommates, then to my boyfriend, then I called up my best friend to tell her, and I then told some my classmates the next day. It probably totaled up to almost four hours of complaining about this "crazy lady". And follow complainers out there know, complaining takes up so much energy! After all this complaining, it didn't really make me feel any better... Isn't that what complaining is for? To get it off your chest then move on? To make it so someone else know's how you are feeling & that in turn makes us feel better? The funny thing is, complaining doesn't do. Complaining usually just leads to anger and frustration.
Interestingly, with all that complaining and negativity I was throwing out there to the universe just led to a bad week and nothing seemed to be going my way. When I decided to reflect on the situation a few days later, I thought to myself, "What would my dad or Uncle done in this situation?". They definitely wouldn't have complained for four hours leading to four days of utter cynicism. They probably would have played it cool, and then go see there friends who would just make them laugh.
Flash forward to a couple of weeks ago. I was walking in a parking lot to met up with my cousin for lunch and this dude in a white Audi who I had my eye on, (because he was driving way too fast in the parking lot!) turned a corner way too fast and nearly ran into me. Lucky I was paying attention because he definitely only had a Habit burger on his mind. Afterwards, I was kinda pissed, like... what an idiot. I was sitting out front of restaurant waiting for my cousin when that same dude walked by me on his way to his hunger destination. He said to me "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to almost hit you". And I right away said "Don't even worry about it", and gave him a little 'knuckle bump'. Then right away after that, something amazing happened. I really didn't care anymore. All I had to do was say that I didn't care, and I no longer did (yes, I still kinda thought he was an idiot... I'm no saint). But I learned from my last experience that holding onto anger and resentment can be so damaging, and for something that little... it wasn't worth it to me.
Unfortunately, I have some of what I would call "sue happy" people in my life. You know the ones, and you may even be one yourself. Now, I'm not talking about those situations in which something was done wrong to where someone's day to day live was significantly affected. I'm talking about the person who is almost waiting for society to mess up just so they can say "you know I can sue you for that". Ouch, I feel so bad for these people.That kind of attitude leads to a toxic mind real fast. Honestly, what's the harm in letting things go? So, best case scenario if one does press charges... you may receive a minimal monetary gain, but you just lost so much time and energy. What could you have done instead with that time and energy?
Bringing it back to my situation... Was it my societal duty to tell Speedy Gonzalez in the parking lot that his driving sucks and that he needs to slow the F down? What good is that going to do? Do I think that he would actually listen to me and change his ways? Most likely not. If I get mad, who is it going to affect really? Him? Probably not. Me? Absolutely. So I decided right then and there that I wasn't going to let it affect my day, so I was going to play it cool (Dang.. see, I'm really not cool since I just said I was cool).
It's a mind set. You will find the bad in people if you look for it.
Recently I've been seeing a lot of hatred on social media. Someone even went so far as to say something along the lines of, "People in our society are terrible and I'm giving up on the human race". Come on, really? Take your ex-boyfriend for example. When you were together, he was the sweetest, most caring and loving human being, (#mcm!). Until he was your ex. Then all you think about is all the negative things about them, and all of a sudden that same person is a disgusting, egotistical, pig who only comes about themselves! They didn't just change, the way in which you see and thought of them is what changed. If you put negativity out there, it will come right back around.
Yes, we can all be stupid at times, we disappoint our friends (sorry that I forgot to call you on your birthday Jazzy!), and we make poor decisions. But, could you imagine the world if we really did decide to give up on each other? Do the universe a favor, give up the words "give up" from your vocabulary. We aren't all going to be able to just switch our mindset in a matter of moments, and depending on the situation, it may be very appropriate to feel some negative emotions. But if it's really starting to affect your day, or if you are feeling discouraged or angry, phone a friend. This is not the time to phone your friend who would just agree with you and the two of you would just continue your pity party together. Call your friend who would make you look differently at your situation, maybe play devils advocate, or at least put a positive spin on your shitty day. I have a friend that I call, and visa versa. One of my favorite things to do when I'm in a bad mood is to watch Youtube videos of babies or puppies. If the video has both babies and puppies, double score! My personal favorites, are puppies falling asleep while standing and cats falling when they jump. It may seem silly, but it makes me feel so much better. It gets me laughing and making all those annoying baby voices. Soon after, I'm in a completely different mindset.
Funny enough, a recent study found that watching cat videos online not only decreased individuals feelings of sadness, anger, and/or anxiety. On top of that, it actually helped to clear one's mind to take on tough tasks afterwards. Cat videos are so popular that there is actually an Internet Cat Video Film Festival. Thank god... the world will never run out of cat videos.
So the next time you are "giving up" on a task, friend, or all of mankind.. do us all a favor, be cool and watch some kittens jumping into boxes.
Just one of my favorites.. hope the kitty is okay. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awf45u6zrP0
& iff you have 25 minutes of time not to spare... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tzhyfWHdLo
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