Literally Losing my Mind.

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get". - Forrest Gump

We hear it all the time - life is a gift, live life in the present since it can be all be taken from you in a moment. The truth is, when both of your parents die at a young age, you think about death… a lot. Not like I'm going to die tomorrow in a freak Final Destination type situation, but enough to do something about it (you will see what I mean but 'do something about it' as you continue to read).

For various reasons, the process of aging and the elderly have been on my mind this past week. Just last week one of my good friends lost his grandmother ultimately from a brain aneurysm after a fall, yesterday my elderly neighbor across the street took turn for the worst, and most difficult of all for me - watching my precious pup, Charlie (13+ years old, but forever my PUP), get older & having difficulty doing things that were once easy for him. Yes, death is inevitable, but after some thought, I realized that I have never lost a close friend or family member (including pets) from “old age”. My parents died from cancer at a young age (Dad passed away a couple weeks before his 49^th birthday, my mom at 50), my aunt passed away in her 30’s from a brain tumor, my dog Petey died from a heart attack at five, another aunt died from liver failure, and the rest of my family passed away when I was really young. 

Even in my recent years, I lacked some empathy for people who’s grandparents/loved one’s passed away in their 80’s + since to me, that’s a full life and they should feel lucky. Now, I have realized that those feelings were really just envy and misplaced anger since I lost so many precious people in my life when they were so young. It wasn’t until I really understood the pain that comes with dying of “old age” that I began to have empathy for others who’s loved ones were going through the aging process.

I remember when I was younger, my parents would tell me that a friend's grandparents and/or distant older family members past away from “old age”. I’ve heard stories and seen movies of older people passing away peacefully in their sleep, but I’ve never personally experienced it. In general, for the elderly, dying is a process. It’s not usually like the movies – it’s much more heartbreaking than that. Example:

Death in the movies/from an outsiders perspective: ‘Betty & Bob have been married for 50 years and Betty was happy/healthy/well traveled until she passed in her sleep overnight. Bob is at peace with the death of his wife since they had many wonderful years together”.

Reality/family perspective: ‘Betty fell and broke her hip after many years of poor health with type II diabetes and high blood pressure. She passed away from complications related to her health. Bob is now alone and doesn’t realize his wife has passed because he has Alzheimer’s.’

Really, there is no such thing as dying from “old age”, or “natural causes”. So for the lucky bunch that gets to live to see their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, death has two different options – loss of the physical or mental (one doesn’t really happen without the other in my opinion). As a physical and occupational therapist, I have seen my fair share of disease, illness, and heartbreak. I recently spent time with my grandparents who are similar to the ‘Bob & Betty’ scenario above except my grandma is still alive & kickin’! However, she is about to be on dialysis, she’s can no longer feel her feet, she’s in constant back pain, and she walks with a walker. My grandpa, although still pretty sharp, says he isn’t remembering things like he used to and admits that he sometimes forgets how to drive home from the grocery store. He knows his mental capacities are declining and will some day need help. Some of this is just part of the normal aging process, but it is still heartbreaking to watch.

I guess my thoughts then lead to... should we just say this is part of the aging process and call it a day? Or should we say that's not a good enough answer and I'm going to do something about it. I'm going with the latter. I'm not going to just settle with 'it's the aging process, get used to it'. I choose to be an active participant in my health. Think you are too young for mental decline? Well, your not. (Except some men since then didn't have any brains to start with, juuuuust kidding). Seriously though, some studies have found cognitive decline begins in the late 20's, other has found a noticeable decrease by the age of 40, and there is a significant decline after 65.

The really great news is that there is so much research being done and recent studies that have found ways to slow the progression of aging, and some have even found ways of reversing the aging process. No, I’m not talking about surgery or liposuction. I’m talking about daily meditation, playing a music instrument, walking, strength training, etc. Simply put - if you don’t use it, you lose it! Makes complete sense. You don’t exercise your brain or your muscles, your brain will lose connections and your muscles will slowly atrophy. If you are unable to move around/explore your environment, your cognitive skills will decline & visa versa.. If you can’t remember how to get home from the store, you won’t get up off the couch and go to the store. You don’t have to be old to know that. How much clearer do you feel after a great workout?

Are you ready for some knowledge??

A study from Harvard University found via MRIs that listening to a guided meditation actually re-builds parts of the brain. Participates meditated for about 30 minutes a day and after 8 weeks they reported having decreased stress and increased concentration. After 8 weeks, the MRI results found a decreased size of the amygdala, and increased size of the hippocampus. I know what you are thinking, “But you just said that meditation re-builds the brain and how you are saying it’s decreasing it?”. Yes, I am. The amygdala is the part of the brain that is responsible for dealing with stress and anxiety. This is what’s in charge of our “fight or flight” mechanism, our instinctual responses. Sure, of course this is important. We are here today because our ancestors had this response and survived when we were in danger. But now a days, we aren’t in danger like our ancestors where. We don't need to be in fire of a lion or tiger about to steal our baby for lunch, and we don't need to worry about starving to death. Then why is this amygdala still so big? Because we are all constantly stressed out from paying bills, hoping for a promotion, hating our jobs, societal pressures, etc. This amygdala is located right next to the pre-frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that is in charge of our decision-making processes, our higher levels of thinking, and our concentration. The pre-frontal cortex is part of what makes us human. The larger the stressed out amygdala is, the more space it is taking up that should be reserved for the higher level decision making capabilities of the pre-frontal cortex. WE NEED OUR PRE-FRONTAL CORTEX! The hippocampus is also very important part of the brain for survival, especially in today’s society. It’s our memory, self-awareness, and ability to have compassion for others.

On top of the countless other benefits of meditation - regulates heart rate & blood pressure, decreases work stress, increases perception aka. filter out the bad & focus on the good, slowing of the aging process, etc., why aren’t we all meditating?! Even if you think you don’t have time for meditation (which we all really DO have the time), you at least have the time to just slow down for a few moments. For example - when brushing your teeth, before getting out of the car after work, when waiting for your morning coffee to brew in the morning (if you are like me… you probably stare at it until it’s done since you think it will somehow make it go faster… GIVE ME MY COFFEE!), while walking your dog, while waiting for BART, & let’s be real… you don’t need a whole hour for lunch (stop being lazy and make your lunch!).

My measurable goal: I will perform a 15-20 minute guided meditation most days of the week for the next 4 weeks.

Non-measurable goal: Stop and take a break just to “soak it all in” more often, as my friend Scott would say.

I’m not exactly sure how this post went from dying from “old age” to meditating, but it all did come somewhat full-circle. We can’t predict the future; we can’t say when we are going to die or what from. But, we can do something. We can lead by example and teach others. We can be compassionate and demonstrate empathy, and be positive.

I’m putting a challenge out there to BE PRESENT - take a moment to slow down during your crazy, hectic, workday. Teach your parents and grandparents about meditation. Send them the following link of free guided meditations (& try them yourself) from the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center: http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22