The Pursuit of Happiness

Disclaimer: Please do not think from this post that I believe depression isn't real. Depression is very real. There are both physiological and behavioral changes that occur with depression. So please don't think that I am playing down a very deadly and serious disease. Everything I discuss below (besides my personal stories) are backed by research, in which I would be more than happy to provide references for. Thank you.  

"To thrive in life you need 3 very important bones- a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone". 

- Reba McEntire.

We all know the quote from the beloved Elle Woods, in which she is describing the logic behind why her client couldn't possibly have killed her husband - "Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people don't shoot their husbands". She's an absolute genius, and she is correct. Happy people don't shoot their husbands. Unless perhaps a happy couple is in the mists of a zombie take over, where he was bitten by a walker, 'turns', and it's the only way to continue on with life in hopes of creating a whole new civilization. That would definitely be the only time a 'happy' person shoots their husband. (Have I mentioned that some day I wouldn't be surprised if zombie's took over the world?... Yes, I have detailed out many zombie situations in my mind, just in case).

Okay but really, what the heck is happiness? How would you describe happiness to someone who has never heard of this concept before (maybe a zombie??). Describing happiness is like describing the color red to someone who's never seen the color red before.. "It's kinda like orange, or pink... but not really". I don't know how to describe happiness, but I know when I feel it.

The best definition of happiness that I could find is this: it is an emotional state characterized by positive or pleasant emotions.

Why all this hoopla about happiness? Well, because many are now considering depression as an epidemic. Let me throw some statistics at you:
- Rates of depression have been on the rise in the past 50 years.
- Age of onset is decreasing.
- Lifetime rates of an anxiety disorder in the USA is 19%, with depression right behind that at 15%. And the remaining 66%, half of those individuals suffer from occasional mild depression.
- The World Health Organization predicts by 2020, depression will be the 2nd leading cause of death... That's only 5 short years away.

One of the statistics that is interesting to me is the first one, rates of depression are rising. Why is that? We no longer need to worry about our every day survival like our hunter/gatherer ancestors, we have the technology to be able to do unbelievable things, and we have access to medical needs. So why is it that depression and anxiety are increasing? Well, experts in this field believe it's because we now have the time to worry. Interesting... so since we no longer have to worry about surviving polio, surviving the winters, or other life-threatening problems that could cause real potential harm.. we have some extra time on our hands. Our basic daily needs are met, we don't have to worry about survival, so now we can think about our happiness, or lack there of. Ask most recent college graduates what they want, most will say that they want to be happy. This is a pretty novel in our society, since just a generation or two ago, after college the focus was to make money, happiness would be a bonus.

Back to the concept of time... the abundance of time seems to be a possible reason why we are seeing the rates of depression increasing. Well, here is the link between time and depression.... worry. Worry is what the mind does when it has the time, or when it's bored. We don't worry when we are busy, because we are too busy doing what we are doing to worry about something that hasn't even happened. That's the thing about worrying, it does absolutely NOTHING for us. Worrying won't change a single thing except make you miserable, and it's a terrible habit to get into. Now, I have my times where I worry (ZOMBIE ATTACK). But seriously, I do worry at times. For example, the other day I was hiking in the Northern California Redwoods with a friend and for the entire 45 minute hike I couldn't stop thinking about damn bears! Me: We are hiking... alone... a hike I've never been on before... I have no phone service... what if there is a bear... I think I just saw some bear poop on the trail... What if we get lost?... It's getting dark out... There could be a bear right around this next bend...     Okay you get my point. And all that worrying, I didn't get to enjoy the moment AT ALL. I was too busy thinking about something that wasn't even real. Your brain is pretty amazing, but when it comes to thoughts, it isn't that great at multi-tasking. The funny thing is when your brain is busy worrying, it doesn't have time to be happy. Visa versa is true as well, if you are thinking happy thoughts, you don't have time to worry. It sounds like Bobby McFerrin not only made a catchy, whistley tune, he says in only four words what I am attempting to write with this blog post -- Don't worry, be happy.

Are you happy? -- Experts believe that the two most important dimensions of happiness are resilience and outlook. Resiliency is being able to bounce back quickly from an adverse event. Like I said in my previous blog post, emotions are okay and even good. It's when we lack resilience and cannot recover from these emotions that they turn into moods. Therefore, those who view their problems as temporary and are able to problem-solve their problems, as well as accept what cannot be controlled, are in general happier people. In addition, those who live life in the "now" and view their future positively are happier people. Reframe your 'problems/worries' into 'challenges' that you are up for mastering. Create "alternatives" for your negative thoughts. For example, your boss is being a total bitch today, and it is really ruining your day. Instead of just thinking negatively (ex. she could have asked me to do that so much nicer), turn it into an alternative (ex. maybe she is just having an off day, her dog kept her up all night... this really has nothing to do with me). Now you have just removed yourself from the situation because really if you think about it... if your boss is having a bad day and taking it out on you, is that really that big of a deal? No not really.

Here are some "habits of happy people" that we could and should strive to add into our daily lives:

1) They smile.
Really though, those that smile are shown to live longer.  In 2010, the Baseball Smile Study was conducted in which two researchers found that baseball players who smiled in their photos lived 7 years longer than those who did not. SEVEN YEARS. That's pretty crazy to me. They also found that the more intense the smile, the longer they lived. So smile, and smile BIG. A quick and cool activity you can do to trick your brain into thinking you are happy is to put a pen along your teeth and gently bite down on the pen (don't worry, your not going to get sick from the gems on your pen!). If you haven't noticed yet, when you do this, you kinda smile. Your brain thinks you are smiling, hence you become happier. Try it sometime this week. But maybe don't smile too big with this one, you will probably seem insane to your coworkers.

2) They are optimistic.
I remember in elementary school, when we said something negative about someone (aka. a "put-down"), we had to give that person two compliments ("put-ups"). So try doing that with whatever you are worried about. A simple example - Me: 'I may get eaten by a bear'. 'But look at where I am, there are so many beautiful trees and I'm here with my friend who I don't get see very often.' Two things just happened here.. I was optimistic, AND I distracted myself from thinking about something negative/worrying since I was too busy being positive.

3) They count their blessings.
You can think of this as practicing gratitude. If you have had a particularly crummy day, write down three good things that happened to you that day. Even on a really bad day, you can think of three good things that happened. You really can't think of three things? Then just look around at your surroundings and take note of one or more things that you often take for granted. One way that you can make yourself happy, is by making someone else happy. Call, email, text, Facetime, a long lost friend/family member that you are grateful for, and tell them why you are grateful for them.

4) They laugh
Laughter is a direct behavior of happiness. Plus it has a ton of health benefits, just to list a few: lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases response of tumor/disease killing cells, increases memory, learning, alertness, and creativity. So go see a funny movie, switch up a reality TV show with a comedy (Modern Family is my personal favorite), go to a comedy show.

5) They meditate
It always comes back to meditation doesn't it? The list goes on and on about the benefits of meditation, and you only need to do it 20 minutes per day in order to see results and get happier. Meditation helps us to keep calm in a stressful event and accept what we cannot control, which increases our resilience thus making us happier people. You are probably now thinking -- I've tried to meditate and all I do is think and that leads to worrying, meditation sucks! Believe me, I have been there. It takes practice. Our minds are meant to be active, it goes against our brain's natural homeostasis to 'think about nothing'. Just start by focusing on your breathing. Maybe put on some smoothing music and dim the lights. Or try a guided meditation, those are my favorite! The goal would be to eventually be able to mindfully meditate for 20 minutes per day, that's 10 minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes in the evening. If you think you don't have enough time in your day to meditate for 20 minutes, well then you should probably be meditating for an hour.

Remember: We all have the potential to change, but the reason why we usually don't change is because it's hard. Breaking a bad habit is really difficult.

Ask for help, be persistent, and COMMIT.

Toss Out Those Broken Records

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become your character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny".

- Lao Tzu

It's pretty well known that too much stress isn't healthy for us. When we are stressed, we are more likely to make unhealthy decisions: skip out on that workout, stay up all night to study for that exam, stop at a drive-thru on the way home, have another energy drink.  We have also noticed that thinking of a future stressful event can even affect our bodies. It happens to all of us: the big exam is coming up, senior picture day is tomorrow, you have a blind date later in the week. Then, BAM... you get a pimple, you are have a "fat" day, or maybe you even get sick. Question: Why does our body do this to us!? How does it know? Answer: On the simplest level, our thoughts can affect our immune system. How we perceive our environment is directly related to our health. It kinda seems like common sense, but think about that. Stress isn't unhealthy for us, it's how we react to that stress that can be unhealthy.

Take Stephen Hawking for example. He is a world renowned physicist who in 1963 was diagnosed with a form of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), a very debilitating and stressful disease that affects every muscle in the body. He was told he had two years to live. Today, he is still alive with the ability to communicate only with a few muscles in his face and continues to contribute to society by studying quantum physics. You hear stories like this all the time. But why is it against all odds that he has been able to live for so long with this terrible disease? Stories like this fascinate me, so I decided to attend a seminar on topic of the mind-body connection and how it effects the immune system. Before you go thinking that this is all Hocus Pocus, the speaker of the seminar is a clinical psychologist, a professor at UCSF, and has been researching the mind-body connection for over 30 years. So everything that I am going to be talking about isn't my opinion, it's backed by science.

Let's take a look at the physiology behind stress and the immune system. Remember how I talked about the fight/flight reflex a few weeks ago, I'm bringing it back. The fight/flight reflex is and automatic reflex that very important for survival, especially for a zebra who needs to react quickly to run away from a hungry lion. This is reflex causes substances such as cortisol and norepinephrine to be released, our heart rate increases, and blood gets rushed to the extremities to prepare to run. Once the zebra has run away and hid from the lion, the zebra's is able to quickly calm down and their system goes back to it's usual balanced, cortisol levels come back into balance.

Even though we don't have to run away from a lion like the zebra, the same reaction occurs during exercise, which is a type physical stress on the body. Exercise activates the fight/flight reflex and releases substances such as cortisol and norepinephrine. When we are done exercising, these substances go back down within a few hours. This is good! Not only are we are activating our survival reflex and keeping it in tactic, we are enhancing our immune system.

Interestingly, this reflex reacts the same way whether we undergo physical stress, or emotional stress. This is because there is an overlap in the brain between social and physical distress. For example, I bet you have been embarrassed in front of your peers at least once... (I will never forget when in 4th grade I volunteered to read the sentence of the day and mistook 'Opera House' for 'Oprah's House' in front of the whole class... traumatizing for a 4th grader)... You were day dreaming in history class when your teacher calls your name to answer the question. Everyone is looking at you, waiting for your answer. Your heart starts pumping, you feel a little warm, your palms start to sweat, cortisol is released. This is that fight/flight reflex being activated because you are undergoing an emotional/psychological stress. You mumble some sort of answer out of no where right as the bell rings. Great, saved by the bell and within an hour, your body goes back to its normal resting state. Again, this reaction is totally normal, and actually good for the immune system.

As we grow up and have more responsibilities, our stresses change from being embarrassed in class to much more complicated situations --> taking care of a disabled child, loss of a spouse, caregiving for a parent, unhealthy relationships, work deadlines, mortgage payments, etc. We are constantly worried and thinking about our future. The immune system is sensitive to these types of distress including how we think others view us. The same cortisol from short term physical and emotional stress is also released with this type of chronic stress. However, this type of chronic stress is no longer good for our immune system since chronic psychological stress can cause the cortisol system to become altered, causing an over-production of cortisol. Even though a little bit of cortisol is a good thing, doesn't mean more is better. Too much cortisol in the system for too long is a problem, it weakens the immune system potentially causing illness/disease! It causes chronic systemic inflammation which directly causes a decrease in white blood cells (our immune system!) allowing foreign pathogens to invade more easily and we get sick.

Chronic, ongoing, never-ending, stress. We can't avoid stress. Our goal shouldn't be to live a stress-free life because there are going to be stressful situations that are outside of our control. And as I discussed above, some stress is okay, and even good. What we CAN control is how we perceive our stress. Even more specifically, we can control how much we allow others' perceptions of us to affect the feelings of ourselves. In fact, its not the stressful environment that is unhealthy, it's the feelings correlating with long term stress such as shame, neglect, exclusion, and loneliness that actually affects our immune system.

Here's another caveat. Feelings of embarrassment, sadness, anger are okay, and even good for the immune system. These short-term feelings jump start our fight/flight reflex, which again helps enhance our immune system. The key word is short-term, perhaps these are feelings that are lasting hours or days. It's when feelings turn into moods that we start to get into trouble. Negative moods such as depression, anxiety, hostility are found to cause chronic cortisol up-regulation, therefore suppressing the immune system. So again, the goal should not be to always be happy-go-lucky and playing down any negative emotion that you may be feeling. It's recognizing and validating these emotions, and working through them. 

Now, psychological factors (i.e. perceived stress) is just one of the many factors that go into developing an illness. Others may include: genetics, environment, exposure to toxins, health behaviors (smoking, diet, exercise), and social factors (socioeconomic status). So I'm not saying just because you a stressful person that you are going to get sick. My hope is to teach others that even if we have "bad genes" and are surrounded by negative influences, we can still do something that can help our minds and bodies. It simply starts with modifying the way that we think.  (Simple doesn't mean easy...)

Need some help with this? Call a friend! Studies show that just having one friend who you makes you feel safe and supportive can help decreases these negative feelings. Also, another super easy and healthy way of coping with these feelings is by journaling. If we don't feel comfortable talking about some of our life stressors with a friend, then writing them down is effective as well. Exercise is another great way to help keep a balance, and it doesn't have to be intensive exercise. Going for a run, swim, practicing yoga, Tai Chi have all shown to have positive effects on emotions and moods. Even going for a walk outside is great for our immune systems. Any mindful activity.

In summary:

- Short term stress (hours, days) is good, long term stress (weeks, months, years) is bad for our health and immune system.

- Negative emotions (sadness, anger, fear) is beneficial for the immune system. Negative moods (depression, anxiety, hostility) suppresses our immune system.

- It is not the context (i.e. stressful environment), it's how we perceive ourselves in that context that can make us sick.